“Coffee House” is the name I have given my series of online poetry readings. I will try to keep up with this every week. This piece seemed fitting for the beginning of Lent and was inspired by a particularly vivid dream.
My good friend ReGi McClain graciously took the time to read my first story, a take on “Frog Prince,” and responded with the following email, complete with a “shredded” draft that I have almost gotten drunk enough to read (LOL, kidding…). Still. YIKES! Here’s what she wrote:
So what I did was what my beta buddies and I refer to as shredding. It won’t feel good, but it’ll make you grow.
This story has tons of potential and the chance to convey an empowering message in a fun way, and therein lies the greatest strength.
What’s not working so well is the amount of information you’re trying to put into the space you have. In a short story, tangents are not allowed. Every sentence has to move the action forward or explain why it’s moving the direction it is. About a quarter of this draft is background we don’t need, but we’re missing pieces we do.
So here’s what you do. Read my feedback, give yourself a week or so to hate my guts, get over it, then come back, read it again, and see what you can do about incorporating the advice you think is worthwhile and ignore the rest. Way the by, you could make it twice as long, if you wanted to.
Whatever you do, don’t give up or let yourself be discouraged for more than a day or two. Every time you write, you’ll get a little better. 😊
Love you! For reals! Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. 😉